
Synopsis:Handyman and ex-con Arkin aims to repay a debt to his ex-wife by robbing his new employer's country home. Unfortunately for Arkin, a far worse enemy has already laid claim to the property - and the family. As the seconds tick down to midnight, Arkin becomes a reluctant hero trapped by a masked "Collector" in a maze of lethal invention - the Spanish Inquisition as imagined by Rube Goldberg - while trying to rescue the very family he came to rob.
Review:Here’s what I like to collect. Comics, beer openers, hockey cards, and the occasional 14th century tapestry depicting medieval coats of arms. Collecting humans was something I never had the time for. It seems so labor intensive. In fact, after watching
The Collector, I can see it’s a down right pain-in-the-ass. Far too much effort is required, but like any Jigsaw wannabe, you’ve just got to take the time to do the job right if you want to succeed.
Another problem with collecting humans occurs when you don’t just simply “collect” them, but you also torture them. This leaves them quite peaked and unlikely to be kept over a long period of time – so in essence, are you REALLY “collecting” them? I think not.
I have a little bit of an issue with horror /slasher films and it’s probably one you’ve heard before: That it’s all been done.
Still, every so often, someone comes along and does something a little bit different. Like the guys who made
Saw. They took the genre and gave it a twist that made it a little more compelling than most other movies in that category. Trouble is, it was bound to spawn copycats. You see where I’m going here, right?
Well, hold on now.
The Collector is completely different than the
Saw series. First, it’s NOT called “
Saw”.
Second, the antagonist is not named “Jigsaw”, he’s named “The Collector”. How are we doing so far?
Third, though the Collector devises creative and elaborate ways to maim his victims, he does NOT devise creative and elaborate ways to maim his victims so they can gain freedom or die trying. That’s a big difference, folks.
Unlike
Saw,
The Collector lacks the mildly intriguing moral/philosophical premise that anchors the series.
Like almost every other horror/slasher movie, however, the protagonist makes the same ridiculous mistakes Jamie Lee Curtis did in the first
Halloween some 31 years ago. My Lord, reptiles evolve faster than that.
Hey – don’t get me wrong, the acting is solid, the action is relentless, and if you like Saw, you MIGHT welcome a variation on the theme.
Is there a lot of blood? Yup! Does it make you jump? Sure, anytime they slap you with a slash-cut, turn the volume to 11, and pump in a shrill, subliminal, background scream, you’re going to jump. In the same way you do when someone slams a door behind your back, or pops a bag next to your good ear.
Still, the most compelling element of this movie may lie in pondering the sheer horror of what would happen if every room in your house was suddenly filled with things that would make you bleed… or worse yet; destroy your home theater screen. (shiver)
Which brings us back to the effort it would take to set several dozen grisly, booby-traps in a multi-room 2-storey home with a basement. Think 4 Macaulay Culkins working in shifts with no smoke breaks – it would have to take days!
But the Collector did it in a couple of hours, cuz he’s magic. Nonetheless, way too much of a pain in the butt for me… I’m sticking to hockey cards.
(Review by Elbow Murderpants from Bien Agiter!)
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